Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It's been six months since my last post. It was not for lack of desire. Nor was I devoid of thoughts. Certainly, like most, I've been busy. Life interfered with my best intentions. But something else happened: my lost train.
On June 15, as I often do, I wrote myself a note regarding a future post: "Not intended to be the maudlin musings of a middle-aged mom". Nice alliteration. Perhaps even
insightful. But, we'll never know. When I returned to write, the thought was gone. My own words no longer held any meaning. Frustrated that my great idea was gone, my blog went off the rails. It was hard to climb back aboard.
But, I miss the writing. And it strikes me now that my lost train could indeed be maudlin musings of middle age: the ideas that come and go may be stand-ins for the dreams and ideals that once were. Who I want to be is anchored by who I already am. Maybe my thought was flawed from the outset. Matter-of-fact replaces maudlin. Acceptance is closer. Is it possible I've grown up? Or maybe I just forgot. Either way, I'm back. I hope.
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